Below is a brief reflection on how we approach our goals. Nothing is cited, and many complicated philosophical debates are ignored. I hope you get something from it.

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A few years ago, during a night of food and drink, my cousin Micah revealed that he had learned Swedish over the course of the previous 10 months. I remember being shocked at hearing him speak conversationally in Swedish, and I was even more surprised when, during our trip to Sweden later that year, he was able to maintain full conversations with native speakers. 

What really stuck with me was the reason he gave me for his secrecy. He said something close to:

If you tell people about your goals, you will never achieve them.

To me, this was an odd explanation, because it went against much of the common wisdom regarding goal-setting. I have since come to agree with Micah, and I believe his is the better attitude for approaching one’s goals. In the rest of this entry, I will explain these approaches, their various advantages, and explain why I prefer Micah’s approach and why you (probably) should too. 

THE TWO APPROACHES

One quick glance at social media, and you will see that most people are constantly informing others about their goals. The reason usually cited for this is that they want to be held accountable. The idea is that if they tell their friends and family about what their goals (learning a language, losing weight, etc) then others will support them and hold them accountable if they begin to falter. Various features of this situation are often thought to lend some sort of motivation — either out of fear of criticism if the goal is not pursued or for a yearning for praise if the goal is in fact achieved. This attitude is behind all of the fitness social media accounts, new years resolution posts, and just the general goal-exhibitionism on display in contemporary culture:

I’ll call this approach to goal-setting The Accountability Approach:

• Tell people about your goals, because this creates a network of accountability that will support you when you lack motivation.

On the other hand, there is Micah’s approach. In this approach, what matters more is you. The goal is pursued almost in secrecy, as if it were being protected from the contamination of the outside world. The focus remains on the goal and the various virtues it would provide the life of the goal-seeker — and nothing else. The self is trained, and the focus is about discipline rather than motivation.

I’ll call this approach to goal-setting The Secrecy Approach:

• Don’t tell people about your goals, because this will give you the false pleasures of goal-satisfaction, and rob you of the privacy often needed for the maximal dedication to your goals and the nurturing of your infant ideas.

WHY I PREFER THE SECRECY APPROACH

As I have said, I find myself thinking that The Secrecy Account is superior. I will here provide a few reasons for why I think this to be the case. 

Firstly, I think a big problem is the feedback we get from telling people our goals in the Accountability Approach. For example, I have often noticed how good it feels to me when I tell people that I will be pursuing X in university or planning to accomplish Y in my life. This concerns me, as I have zero reasons to deserve this pleasant sensation — I haven’t achieved X or Y. I worry that in many, the pleasant feedback from telling people about their goals might prematurely satisfy the thirst that ought only to be quenched by the thing truly sought after. Imagine a long list of impressive New Years resolutions hanging above someone’s office desk, and a co-worker walking by and saying “Look at those goals, good for you!”. With secrecy, we do not experience such premature pleasures — we only experience the struggle toward the goal each day, and this, among other benefits, makes the achievement taste all the more sweet.

Secondly, when telling people about our goals, I believe we are placing the emphasis on the wrong value — on motivation rather than discipline. I have long believed that too many people seek motivation — that mysterious impulse to act — rather than developing the internal habits of discipline which operate regardless of motivation (as it is normally, phenomenologically conceived). I go to the gym, study a foreign language, eat the proper food, and sleep at the proper time not because I feel that gust of desire but because, based on my deeply held values and my idealized vision of myself, I must do these things. I must continue because I said I would — because these things help me realize my potential, etc. 

Lastly, I can’t help but feel that if we follow the Accountability Approach, our goals cease to be ours. Once our goals are known, we make ourself vulnerable to an onslaught of advice from our community. Some may be helpful, some may not matter, some may be a disaster — but all of it dirties the purity of our originality.  I think this not only alters the path of goal-seeking, but it also degrades the eventual achievement by divvying up the glory amongst the masses. When we open up our deepest aims and purposes to the world, we sacrifice a certain sacred solitude, a supreme and unlimited focus that I believe, more than being perhaps indefinitely special, is more conducive to success in the long-term.

SOME LIMITS

Now that being said, I won’t say this preference is without limits. I can imagine some situations where it is better to pursue goals in groups — for example in activities which demand partners, like martial arts or language learning. Even then, however, the knowledge of the goal can be restricted to those who are sharing in it. 

Also, perhaps there are people who need to know about your goal who aren’t sharing in it. For example, a man whose goal is to learn a language by attending language classes after work would surely need to inform his wife of such a goal. 

And in general, perhaps this method simply does not apply to all people. Perhaps some require support from others to achieve their goals. This, to me, is a defect. I have this defect myself sometimes, and it is something that I am trying to curb and eliminate.

I truly believe that our goals, those things into which we pour our being and toward which we fix our gaze, are among the most important parts of human life. For this reason, I have come to believe that a degree of privacy and secrecy must be observed with respect to them. I am, you could say, a radical about originality, about sheltering our essence from unwanted outside influence and contamination as much as is possible. By hiding our goals I think we go far in doing just that. 

Thanks to my cousin Micah, a true radical about originality, for giving these brief thoughts their birth. 

-AW